Parental Alienation Vigilantes
About us
Parental Alienation Vigilantes is an informatory and advisory source that offers help by alerting and highlighting the problems seen in the relationship of one parent and the children in a family. This situation is caused by the other parent in the same family. It is referred to as Parental Alienation.
It’s often seen in a family that is experiencing marital disharmony and as a result the husband and wife are at loggerheads.
We are a voluntary group and has no religious or political affiliations.
The first step in addressing a problematic situation, is to be made aware of its existence by providing evidential information which will help to recognize the situation and subsequently manage it.
That is the main aim of Parental Alienation Vigilantes in tackling this devastating situation of Parental Alienation which effects children and the targeted parents.
Parental Alienation is a real and a serious problem effecting some families. It should not be tolerated, accepted or ignored by anyone who truly cares for children, and the targeted parents who are facing it.
The consequences of Parental Alienation are seen in the effected children well into their adulthood and even beyond.
We are in touch with similar groups and organizations that are operating in many countries around the world.
Our Vision
Our main aim is to create awareness of the existence of this situation referred to as Parental Alienation and highlight its devastating effects.
The prime objective is to show how to recognize it and outline the steps to be taken to either prevent it or address the damage that has resulted from it.
Early detection could minimize the harm that results from being subjected to such adversity.
Our Service
To make people knowledgeable about Parental Alienation and offer helpful advice to those affected by it.
Information provided hopefully will alert those facing this predicament and guide them as to what should be done which will help the victims to face the situation as best as they could.
This is the main aim of Parental Alienation Vigilantes.
Parental Alienation
Parental Alienation occurs in a family when one parent deliberately attempts to turn the couple’s children against the other parent.
The alienating parent brainwashes the children by telling, the targeted parent does not love or care for them. Furthermore, funds and facilities are not made available to the children, to show that the uncaring and unloving targeted parent, is of no help and at times is a hindrance.
Lying to the kids to make the other parent look bad is the modus operandi.
The alienating parent prevents the children having any close association with the targeted parent, might even find fault if seen or comes to known that such is happening.
All efforts are made to distance the children from the targeted parent and create a dislike and animosity towards that parent, who is now made to appear as a terrible person.
Parental Alienation is a theorized process through which, children become estranged from one parent, solely as a result of the psychological manipulation of the other parent.
Parents who cause alienation use their children to meet their own needs, violating boundaries and seriously compromising and damaging the children’s healthy development.
It is child abuse in disguise and is also referred to as Hostile Aggressive Parenting.
It is well to realize that Parental Alienation, which is now universally known, is a process and not an event.
The Royal Blue Ribbon is the internationally recognized symbol of Parental Alienation Awareness
International Parental Alienation Awareness day observed on April 25 every year to raise awareness about Parental Alienation
Effects of Parental Alienation
In Parental Alienation one parent through words and conduct attempts to eradicate the children’s relationship with the targeted parent without legitimate justification. As a result the children in the family, ally more strongly with the preferred parent and rejects a relationship with the other parent.
The alienating strategies have dire consequences and long-term effects on the children’s mental health and wellbeing.
Parental Alienation does not protect the children’s interests, it places them in peril. The same could be said with regards to the plight of the targeted parents.
The Children
Studies suggest that Parental Alienation is associated with long-term psychological damage to the effected children. Distancing and alienating one parent from a child’s life, causes the child to feel isolated and neglected, also instilling feelings of insecurity.
The children miss a lifetime of loving and supportive relationship with the parent they were conditioned to reject. Such a situation is associated with many long lasting, negative consequences. The results are devastating for the alienated children and can last a lifetime.
Depression, anxiety, poor self-esteem, lack of trust in relationships, high rates of divorce and self-defeating behavior, drug abuse, intergenerational cycle of parental alienation, are just some of the deleterious consequences.
Daughters naturally crave connection with their fathers. They especially cherish emotional and physical affection from their fathers. According to research, when girls and their fathers have a strong connection, those daughters do better in life, on a number of different levels. Hence loss of that paternal love has far-reaching repercussions.
Parental Alienation furthermore, cause persistent anger in a child towards the alienated parent.
Harboring such a prolonged anger is destructive to the child.
The Alienated Parents
Parental Alienation also profoundly effects the targeted alienated parent. Post traumatic stress disorder symptoms and higher rates of depression have been reported.
Some of those who have been moderately to severely affected had committed suicide. This opens the door to an additional way of treatment for the victims of Parental Alienation
The marital bond between the parents is a legal one, which may breakup. The bond between a child and a parent is a biological one, that cannot be broken. Hence the repercussion of a breakdown of such a relationship has very serious consequences.
Parental Alienation Opponents
The parents who are portrayed as the perpetrators of Parental Alienation at times mention, that it has not been recognized by medical and professional bodies as it is not a disease.
That is because it is a parent – child relationship problem and is not a mental disorder per se. However, it causes mental health issues and behavioral problems.
Much akin to saying tobacco smoking is not a disease even though it causes life threatening illnesses.
The existence of Parental Alienation is now getting to be known in society and those who are victims know it all too well.
Parental Alienation refers to the ongoing situation where there is alienation between the children and one parent in the family, while Parental Alienation Syndrome refers to the effected children’s symptoms.
Parental Alienation Syndrome was developed by American child psychiatrist Dr. Richard Gardner in 1985 based on his personal observations.
Warning Signs
Early detection is the starting point in managing a deleterious situation. Hence recognition of Parental Alienation is important as it could give an opportunity to stop it at the outset, or manage it by taking steps to address the consequences and prevent it from progressing any further.
Signs shown by the Alienating Parent
- Badmouthing the targeted parent.
- Allowing family members and friends to trash talk the targeted parent in front of the children.
- The targeted parent is hated and rejected without any justifiable reason.
- Withholding academic, medical and other important information of the children from the targeted parent. The alienated parent is not informed of any achievements of the children and even debarred from attending such functions.
- Children are discouraged, made to feel guilty for spending enjoyable time and getting involved in fun activates with the targeted parent. Such is not allowed and if it does happen, the alienating parent directly or indirectly reprimands the children.
- The alienating parent tells the child that the targeted parent does not care or love them and is held responsible for the troubles the children face.
- The alienating parent confides with the children what is made to appear as confidential information. Discussing proven or unproven extramarital affairs involving the targeted parent is not uncommon.
- Compelling the children to take decisions which is often opposed to that chosen by the targeted parent. Forcing the children to comply with decisions taken by the alienating parent that can affect the targeted parent immensely.
Signs shown by the children
- Lack of guilt: Children subjected to alienation has no sense of guilt about the hostility or disrespect they show the targeted alienated parent. No amount of atonement by the alienated parent shifts the children's feelings.
- Efforts to win back the affections of the children by the alienated parent are ignored or even laughed at by the children.
- Rejection of the alienated parent's family by the children can extended to all members of the family on the side of the alienated parent, which could include grandparents, cousins, and other family members who may be subjected to the children's disrespect and hostility, as a component of their alienation.
- The alienated parent is not informed of any special events or occasions involving the children, be it achievements in schools or universities. Not inviting and preventing the alienated parent from attending any such functions and in some instance, even withholding invitation to the children's wedding.
- Children calling the targeted parent by their first name instead of mum or dad. In some instances where the targeted alienated parent is the father, the children are made to refer to the maternal grand-father as dad.
Prevention
When there is marital disharmony always be on the watch out for Parental Alienation.
See to it that disharmonies amongst parents need to be handle by themselves not in the presence of their children. If and when issues get argumentative make sure that the children are not witnesses and are totally prevented from getting involved.
When it is obvious to the targeted parent that the relationship with the children is hindered, adopt ways to make contact with the children without the alienating parent being knowledgeable about it.
Ways to Cope
- Seeking help by obtaining advice and support from people and organizations is one way to move on.
- Parental Alienation is a known entity across the world and that is the reason there are many organizations worldwide that are operating to help the targeted parents and the victimized children.
- Never stop loving the alienated children unconditionally.
- The targeted parents are better off if they contain their emotions and feelings whilst keeping a positive attitude, and deal with the myriad of stressors that surface due to Parental Alienation.
- Assertiveness will help and improve coping skills.
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